you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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