Are we in a gay sports bar?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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