i think my tv is drunk
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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