Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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