not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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