i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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