Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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