how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
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Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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