I must be too annoying 4 u.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
