google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it hurts more in the daytime
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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