i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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