we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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