Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize