I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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