She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize