I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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