Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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