that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize