i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize