I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize