Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize