Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize