Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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