i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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