I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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