This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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