what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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