Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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