Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize