All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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