You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize