Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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