Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize