there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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