i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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