i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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