Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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