Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
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I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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