i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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