careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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