I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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