I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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