so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize