he puts the penis in happiness.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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