she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
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Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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