day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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