The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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