I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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