So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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