I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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