she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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