You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize